Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Here Comes Trouble for Music Maven

The ever readable Here Comes Trouble has started a fantasy band at Music Maven called Arsenic And Old Lace. I need to start my own group up. I used to do this whole fantasy band thing back in junior high school before I could play guitar. I was just a dreamer. I would come up with a band name...let's see I had V.S.L.R. a pop group, Mission Control a sort of prog band, and Slayer a metal band (how prescient was that back in 1980?). I used comic book artists and writers for the musician's names so V.S.L.R. was composed of Mike Vosburg, Steve Leiahola, Cory Robbins, and some other dude. The Cory Robbins character thought V.S.L.R. was too lame for him so he formed Slayer and he sang on the first few records until he was replaced by Tony Isabella in a move similar to when Ozzy was replaced by Ronnie James Dio in Black Sabbath. There were other fantasy acts, but way too many to mention although I guess I'll give a shout out to the imaginary rocker Pablo Marcos, one of my few solo stars. He was sort of a more macho version of Rod Stewart. I would write album's of lyrics, draw pictures of the bands, and then sing how I thought the songs should go. When I started really being in rock and roll bands, I revisited those old notebooks full of fantasy albums hoping to maybe use a lyric or two. But it was all so terrible. Maybe in few days I'll dig up some of the metal lyrics for you. They were Spinal Tap worthy.

I also used to make up fake radio stations and make deejay tapes. The most bizarre had to be WHMA, a radio station supposedly owned by Dallas Cowboys great Harvey Martin for some reason. That was super weird considering I hated the Cowboys then and still hate them today. I guess I must have just liked Harvey. There weren't any tapes of it since it was actually a television show airing nightly from my bedroom in 7th grade - my version of WKRP naturally. I was either being incredibly creative for a young kid or a big dork. In my defense, I was an only child growing up out in the country. Of course, the call letters of WHMA should have actually been KHMA since it would have west of the Mississippi. But hey how would an 11 year old know that? Especially when he hadn't been west of the Mississippi himself. And still haven't. Damn! One of these days I'll get up enough courage to go into Arkansas!

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