The Sportsman's Paradise - Smithville, TN

I live in the town of Smithville, Tennessee. It's the county seat of DeKalb County. There are numerous counties across the US named for the German, Johan DeKalb, who was a hero in the Revolutionary War. I don't know how it's pronounced elsewhere, but you can tell a person's a local if they say "de cab". Other signs of a local citizen: They call Hurricane Bridge "Hurrakin Bridge". There's a fairly large hill which splits Smithville from the western half of the county. A local never says Snow Hill. It's called Snow's Hill. If you live in the western half you are said to be living "under the hill". Center Hill Lake dominates the north of the county and a lifelong resident would know right where I was headed if I was going to "redneck beach".

I didn't grow up here so it's been a bit weird getting to know folks since I moved here 4 years ago. They always expect you to know the county and the people as if you've lived here your whole life. They find it strange that you don't know where the "crossroads" is or that you didn't know somebody from DeKalb County High School when it was obvious you're close to the same age as them. Then there are those that question my Southern heritage when I speak. I don't have enough of an accent for the area even though I was born in Memphis and raised for most of my life just a couple of counties over in Murfreesboro, TN. When I visited New York City some years ago the people I was with thought my accent was extremely Southern. What would they think of the citizens of Smithville?

Some definitely speak with a drawl, but most have what's called the Midwest television accent. I have learned some things I never knew like "might....might's grow on chickens" and the exclamation "hairy fire!" among a few. The anti-smoking brigade has not made a dent here. The stands at tee-ball games are filled with parents smoking. Convenience stores and restaurants are filled with smoke. If a place is non-smoking you can bet you will have to push your way through the smokers congregating at the door.

Congregations are another way one is judged in this small town. I attend church every once in awhile, but like Grouch Marx, I am wary of any club that would have me as member. The people that attend regularly treat the churches like social clubs. Where you attend or if you attend can have big importance in your life. Lucky for me, my only ambition is to coach my daughter's tee-ball team.

Politically, as a Libertarian, I can't go far in a yellow dog Democrat county. The local radio station http://wjle.com has recently conducted a poll to see if the county is conservative or liberal and conservatism is winning by a landslide, but odds are good that Kerry will win the county in the fall. It is fun to see such ardent church goers try to rationalize why they back the Democratic party, but it's like shooting fish in a barrel. It's easy to get cynical in a place where only 3% of the population has a college degree. Not that having a degree makes one that much smarter, but there is often a lack of shared experience.

I don't hunt, and I prefer to fish streams instead of speeding around a lake in a bass boat. That's why Smithville is called a "Sportsman's Paradise". The lake is tremendous with miles of shoreline cutting through the foothills of the Cumberland Plateau. These hills are loaded with deer, wild turkey, and raccoons. The town doesn't have a book store, but there are two hunting shops. So, why do I live here?

I live here because I work here. I live here because my wife is from here. I live here because the people are friendly, at least until they find out you don't know about so and so and you should. My daughter's enjoy their life here. The scenery is fantastic. I don't like crowds and a town of 5,000 and a county of 25,000 is not crowded. I get to travel for my job, but not so much that I'm never home. There are larger cities close enough for day trips. Ultimately, one has to live somewhere and this somewhere is laid back enough for me.