Livin In The Past

Okay, so geez I promised all of my loyal reader(s) - "Hi mom!" - that I would blog about the present this time around, but what if the present tends toward the dull, the Prozac prosaic, the uber personal null of things. To jazz this up you'll have to read it in a nasal whine ala Rammellzee "B-boy making with the freak freaks" which should be almost as much fun as that night that the Franklin cops tried to bust the Gonz and I after an F.U.C.T. and Intruder show, but that's in the past so you'll have to read about that in the future. Because today is the present day. The synapse exploding NOW that's not made of Top 40 pop schlock, but composed of things like Harper bumping her head after falling out of her chair at Ryan's, Emily hosting her 8th birthday party, and Liam getting his hair punk rock styled with gel. The present is getting beat down by a 5 year old UNO wiz. Kurtis Blow's "Christmas Rappin" gets me in the mood to dole out the presents, but that's not the present I promised so let's discuss current events. We're at war, the holiday season is upon us like a ravenous beast, Britney is single, House has been ruined by the mad policeman sub-plot, it looks like Mel Gibson is going to have the last laugh again, and how about the weather. The present is having a dryer vent connection that is too long so you can only dry like 2 items of clothes at a time. I need to chuck the dryer into the yard and let it rust and become an appliance eyesore in true redneck fashion. The present is the everyday dread of the everyday banal - "I always wear a smile because anything but a smile will make me have to explain" - year end wrap-ups and crap-ups and best-of lists, waiting around in the cold while my skin flakes and cracks wishing I was riding my bike but not missing the smell of the roadkill and there's been lots of roadkill these days; raccoons, kitties, deer, and dogs. The present is about staying relevant, but what is relevant to you might not be relevant to me and vice versa reverse it and since it takes a minute amount of time to process information don't we all live in the past anyways. Next time around I'll bet back to the old school Wally back in the day type post. It's what I do best.